In the summer of 2002 (I think…), I was part of a college group called CrossWise. We were a band, and we traveled to various churches and church camps in the Midwest and did concerts, led worship, etc. Our first gig was leading worship at a camp in North Dakota.

As with most church camps, there is a night toward the end that involves a campfire and lots of sharing by students. Many times these events lead to the sound of crickets chirping, but not this one. Somewhere along the way, kids started sharing, and I mean really sharing. They stripped away all the fake exterior and started talking about the real demons they struggled with. We’re talking substance abuse, addictions, self-mutilation… It was shocking. What came from that campfire session was the realization that we are broken people – every one of us. We are broken, and only God can fix us. Another thing those kids realized is that they needed each other. They needed to encourage each other. They needed to keep each other accountable.

If we try and face our demons alone, they will destroy us. Period.

I was pretty moved by this whole thing. I hung out at the campfire after most people left and wrote out a prayer for those kids. The prayer became a song, and it goes like this:

Fill me when I’m lonely
Fill me this I pray
Fill me when I’m lonely
Fill me today

I need your love
And I need your presence
I need you here to carry me through
I need your love
And I need your presence
It’s all I want todo

Hear me when I’m crying
Hear me this I pray
Hear me when I’m crying
Hear me today

Draw me closer to you
Draw me closer to you
Draw me closer to you
It’s all I want to do

Listen/watch the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BZXkWzoa4s

I’m feeling a bit like Abraham lately. By Abraham, I mean Father Abraham from the Old Testament. Why do I say this? Well, my wife and I moved. We moved to a place where we had never really been before, and both of us moved into situations that we’ve never experienced before. Abraham did the same thing. One day God told Abraham to go – God didn’t say where to go, but just to go. And Abraham went. This all takes place in Genesis 12.

I’ve often wondered how Abraham (he went by Abram at the time) felt about moving. He left everything he knew and set out to something foreign. Something unknown. God made him a great promise – he promised Abraham that he would make him the father of a great nation, but Abraham had to have wondered about that, because his wife was barren. I’m sure Abraham was scared, confused, worried…

So Angela and I have moved. We felt it was God’s calling in our lives to take this step, and we know that God will take care of us, but we are still in a place we don’t know. We can take comfort in the story of Abraham. God came through on his promise (He always does). He came through in Abraham’s life, and He’ll come through on his promise in our lives as well. It’s hard to go through times of uncertainty and times of displacement, but we know that we serve a God who makes all things happen for his Glory, and we serve a God who loves us and who has really awesome plans for our futures.

Well, Abraham left, and so did I. I wonder if Abraham wrote a song about it – ’cause you better believe I did…

I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know, but I’ve been here before
I don’t know where I’m going
Walk out the door

Would you tell me if I asked you?
Would you tell me what you see in me?
Would you tell me if I wanted everything?

It’s the hard part of leaving
All you know, it just fades away
And you just want to see it never change
But you change

Going, not knowing
It’s just so hard to let go

Here’s a bit of an explanation of the lyrics…

“I don’t know where I’m going, but I’ve been here before”

• While I might not know exactly what’s going to happen in the future here in North Carolina for me, I can read about others (like Abraham) that have gone through similar situations in life. I can read their stories and understand how God worked in their lives.

“Would you tell me if I asked you”
“Would you tell me what you see in me”
“Would you tell me if I wanted everything”

• It’s no secret that God sees more than we do. I’ve heard so many illustrations about this, but the bottom line is that God knows more than we do, and he knows more than we do for a reason.
• I’m asking the question here – if I were face-to-face with God, and I could ask him anything – would He tell me what my future had in store? Would he tell me what he had planned? I think so many times the journey makes us who we are, and that if we knew everything we were going to be or amount to in the end, something would be lost.
• I suppose that in asking these questions, I’m saying that I think I understand why there is uncertainty, and why there is a journey and not just a destination.

The song “Leaving” is on the “Strings EP”, and you can get it here.

I’ve just put the finishing touches on my “Strings EP”, and it’s officially ready to go. I’ve put a few of these up on YouTube, and I thank all of you that have listened and commented on them.

It’s a mostly acoustic-flavored album. I’m releasing it at bandcamp (www.bandcamp.com).

Details:
5 tracks
Full EP: $2.50
Individual tracks: $0.60 each
Buy it here

You can listen to each track before buying as well.

Here is a video, which pretty much says what I just wrote, only you get to listen to me talk about it: